Bullying Month: Is Your Child a Bully?

Wait! Don’t close the page! I know you can’t believe it would be true, your child would never be a bully. This a natural reaction, and I’m not saying you’re wrong. But just listen to some tell tale signs to reinsure that your initial reaction is right. You’re still here? Great! Let’s begin.

1.Acts Aggressively and Blame Others
What’s your child’s reaction when you ask them to stop doing something wrong? Do they listen? Do they continue their action? Or do they blame someone else? If they continue to act wrong and aggressive (physically or verbally) towards you or other people, or can’t take responsibility for their actions, they might be a bully. In my experience, bullies are naturally very aggressive people and act aggressively all the time, whether it be in or out of school. So it is not crazy to see them acting aggressively towards you or someone else at home.

As for blaming others and not taking responsibility, this is simply related to empathy. Bullies often don’t know they are hurting other people because they might lack the maturity that is needed to be empathetic. Don’t worry if this is the case, empathy can be learned, and most bullies eventually become empathetic!

2. Friends
Are their friends loud and aggressive? Are they mean to other children? Your child might be doing the same thing. Why? Well a common reason might be your child sees these kids as popular, and sadly, sometimes a child will do anything for popularity (if your child sees popularity as important this is most likely the reason). Anyways, whatever the reason, looking at how your child’s friends act is a good indication of how your child acts.

3. New Stuff
Did your spot your child with a fancy new gadget or/and money? How did they get that? The myth of bullies taking other children’s lunch money is really not that far off. To simply put it, part of bullying is taking things from the child you are bullying. Whether it be lunch money or a new iPod, if your child mysteriously has new toys they might have bullied a child for it. So be alert, and look out for new toys or extra cash that’s in your child’s possession.

4. In Trouble at School
Does it seem like your child spends more time in detention and the principle office than in class? Are they often in trouble?  If this is the case, there’s a reason for them always being in trouble! One of those reasons might be bullying. I’m not saying it's always bullying but it's a common reason for a child to get in trouble. To find out why they in trouble go talk to a teacher or the principle.

What if you don’t get a call from the school to tell you your child is in trouble? Or your child doesn't say anything? If this is the case, see if your child comes home from class at sporadic times each day. If they do, it could be a good sign of your child getting in trouble. Why is that? Well it could mean your child was in detention one day, but not in detention another day. Simple right?

Okay, that’s it. So what now? I think you should see if your child is following any of these signs. Than tune in next week to see what actions I think you can do to stop your child from bullying.

Thanks for reading,
David

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Bullying Month: Spot the Signs Your Child is Being Bullied

 
Communication is the key to spotting bullying. However, sometimes your child does not tell you they are being bullied, and you need to figure out some signs of abuse. Here are some of those signs.

1. Your child has few friends
Forming connections with people through friendships is an important, social part of school. If your child fails to make friends, and just seems like a social outcast, they could be being bullied. While there is not a set number of friends a child should have, it is important for each parent to see how sociable their child is. If the amount of friends your child associates themselves with suddenly drops, bullying could be the cause.

2.  Changes in Mood
Your child was always the active, high spirited, and joyful child. Suddenly their demeanor has completed changed--they are distort and have low confidence. What has happened? This can be a clear sign that your child is being bullied, and that bullying is affecting their mood. Distort or jumpy behaviour is connect to their constant state of alert and abuse. Also, Low confidence is connected to the child abused, specifically vocal abuse. Vocal abuse causes this feeling that a child’s opinion is useless, and that feeling of uselessness leads to low confidence.

3. Can’t Sleep and Stomach and Head Aches
    Bullying may take a physical toll on a child’s body. It can cause head and stomach aches and insomnia. This physical pain is terrible for a children’s physical health. Mentally, it is often used as an excuse for children to get out of going to school because they fear facing a bully.  Fear can also lead to poor school performance.

4. Unexplained Bruises and Cuts on their Body
Probably the most glaring and quintessential sign that your child is being bullied, is unexplained bruises and cuts on their body. Obviously this is a sign that someone is most likely hurting your child. Often a response to this abuse is denial, and child might say it was an accident. It very well could be, but if these bruises and cuts continue to appear, it is time to take action.

How do you spot these bruises and cuts? For younger children, you can look during baths or when they getting changed. For older children and teenagers, you can look for places on their skin not covered in clothes. Sadly, it is much harder to spot bruises and cuts on older children and teenagers.

It goes without saying that this list does not cover every sign that your child is being bullied. However, it does cover many of the common indications of bullying. If your child is experiencing any of these signs, I ask you take action. In two weeks I’ll talk about ways to take action. 

Until Next Time,
David

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Bullying Month: Prevent Cyberbullying: Do These Four Things

As a way to connect our October theme of technology to our November theme of bullying, I’ve decided to focus my first blog on cyberbullying. Cyberbullying, or online bullying, evolved with the invention of the internet. Due to the anonymity and the wide access to the internet it makes it easier for bullies to abuse their victims. In hopes of helping stop this disturbing trend, I’ve created a list of ways to prevent your child from being a victim of cyberbullying.

1.  Learn the technology While it might be silly to write about not knowing how to use the internet on the internet. It seems important to point out that there is no way you can relate and help your child if you don’t understand how computers, phones, the internet, and other technology works. That means you should use the technology on a frequent basis. If you don’t know how to use it, ask your child or take a course to learn the technology. Trust me it is beneficially in helping protect your child and make other aspects of your life easier.

2. Parental Control Software

After you learn the technology install parental control software. Parental control software helps you stop your child from accessing certain websites. While a somewhat flawed system, parental control software does help your child avoid websites that might lead them to being bullied. However, it is not enough to just install a parental control software.

3. Communication is Key!
As well as installing parental control software, you must talk to your child about what they are doing online. Ask them about sites they are visiting, interactions online, and anything else that is going on. Sometimes just asking really can make the difference in getting your child to stay silent or speak out about online bullying.
 
4.  Get your child’s passwords
Cyberbullying often happens on Facebook, and other websites that require a password to access them. In order to learn more about the bullying you need to gain access to the post on these websites. That means you need to get your child’s passwords. Instead of telling them to give you the passwords, ask for it and promise that you will only use it in case of emergency. I can’t stress the importance of only using your child’s password in case of emergency. If you use it to just look at their account, it will destroy the trust between the two of you. If you child does not trust you, they will probably not trust to talk to you about them being bullied.

Hopefully these tips will help your child to stop being bullied online. That’s all for now, but I’m wondering what subjects do you want to be covered during bullying month?

Thanks for reading,
David

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